Things Only Hard of Hearing People Understand

You Know That Look

You know the one. Someone just said something and the whole table is laughing. You missed it. Completely. So you do that little laugh and nod thing, hoping nobody turns to you and says, "Right?!"

Yeah. I know that look because I've made it a thousand times.

At around 50 dB of hearing loss in both ears, my daily life is full of these tiny moments that most people never even think about. They add up. And if you're hard of hearing too, I'm willing to bet you've lived through every single one of these.

This post is for us. The ones who get it.

The "Never Mind" That Stings Every Time

Let's start with the big one. You ask someone to repeat themselves. Maybe you ask twice. And then they wave their hand and say, "Never mind, it wasn't important."

But here's the thing. It was important enough to say in the first place. And every time someone brushes it off like that, it sends this quiet little message: you're not worth the effort of repeating it.

I know most people don't mean it that way. They're just being lazy or they feel awkward repeating themselves. But after hearing "never mind" hundreds of times, it wears on you. It really does.

According to the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders (NIDCD), approximately 15% of American adults report some degree of hearing trouble. That's nearly 40 million people who probably know exactly what this feels like.

If someone in your life is hard of hearing, please just repeat yourself. It matters more than you think.

The Exhaustion Nobody Sees

Here's something people with normal hearing almost never understand. Listening is work for us.

It's called listening fatigue, and it's very real. When you have hearing loss, your brain has to fill in the gaps constantly. You're reading lips. You're watching body language. You're using context clues to piece together what someone just said. All of that processing takes energy, and by the end of the day, you're drained.

I've come home from social events feeling like I ran a marathon. Not because anything physically demanding happened, but because my brain was working overtime for hours just to follow conversations.

Some everyday moments that are secretly exhausting

• Group dinners at loud restaurants. My personal nightmare.

• Video calls where someone has bad audio or no captions.

• Talking to someone while they're walking away from you.

• Trying to hear someone in the car when they're in the back seat.

• Any conversation with background music. Why is it always so loud?

If you deal with hearing loss and its effects on cognitive load, you already know this is about way more than just "not hearing well." It takes a real toll on your mental health and energy levels.

The Little Things That Are Actually Big Things

There are so many small moments that hard of hearing people navigate every day. They seem tiny to everyone else, but they're huge for us.

Choosing where to sit

I never just plop down at a restaurant table. I'm scanning the room. Where's the speaker playing music? Which seat puts me closest to the people I need to hear? Can I sit with my back to the wall so all the sound comes from one direction? It's a whole strategy session before I even look at the menu.

Pretending you heard something

We've all done it. After asking "what?" three times, you just... go with it. You agree. You laugh. You hope it wasn't a question. Sometimes it works. Sometimes you accidentally agree to help someone move on Saturday.

Being called "rude" or "aloof"

This one hurts. When you don't respond to someone because you genuinely didn't hear them, people sometimes assume you're ignoring them. I've had people think I was stuck up or cold when in reality, I just didn't know they were talking to me.

The phone is the enemy

Phone calls without captions? Absolutely terrifying. There are no lips to read, no facial expressions, no context clues. Just sound, which is the one thing that's hardest for us. I rely heavily on live captioning tools whenever I can, and honestly, it's been life changing.

Finding Your People (and Your Tools)

For a long time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I thought I was being dramatic or too sensitive. But then I started connecting with other hard of hearing people, and suddenly everything made sense. Every single one of them had the same stories. The same frustrations. The same "never minds."

You're not being dramatic. This stuff is real.

The great thing is, there are more tools and resources now than ever before. If you've never had your hearing checked, our free online hearing test is a simple place to start. It only takes a few minutes and it gives you a real picture of where things stand.

And if you already know you have hearing loss but aren't sure what to do about it, I'd recommend checking out our guide on OTC vs. prescription hearing aids. There are so many more affordable options now, especially since the FDA opened up the over-the-counter hearing aid market in 2022.

I built Hearing Buddy because I was tired of feeling left out. I wanted something that felt like a friend, not a medical device. Something that could help me stay in conversations without making a big deal out of it. If you're looking for a little extra help, the Hearing Buddy app gives you real-time captions right on your phone. It's free, it's private, and it was built by someone who truly gets it.

Because everyone deserves to be part of the conversation. Including us.

Stay in the conversation,
Lilly 💛

Try These Free Tools

• Online Hearing Test — Check your hearing in just a few minutes from your phone or computer.

• Live Captions (Speech-to-Text) — Get real-time captions for conversations, calls, and more.

• OTC vs. Prescription Hearing Aids — Figure out which type of hearing aid is right for your lifestyle and budget.